05/02/2023

“Saturday Night Live”’s chilly open this weekend had President Biden (Andrew Dismukes) involved in regards to the “big yikes” midterms on Tuesday and questioning if the liberals ought to boost their candidate lineup.  

“This Tuesday, the midterm elections will determine the fate of our democracy and let’s just say: big yikes!” Dismukes, whereas standing behind a presidential podium, emphasised because the commander-in-chief on the high of the present. 

“Folks, I’m trying like hell, I promise. I’m on the Peloton every morning tempting fate,” Dismukes stated as Biden.  

The pretend president admitted he is “boring” and stated the issue for Democrats this election cycle is that they don’t have “any stars anymore.”

‘SNL’ COLD OPEN BREAKS DOWN RISE OF GOP CANDIDATES WITHOUT ‘ANY POLITICAL EXPERIENCE’ AHEAD OF MIDTERMS 

President Biden (Andrew Dismukes) advised “more interesting” celeb candidates on this weekend’s chilly open forward of the midterms. 
(“Saturday Night LIVE”/NBC )

“Too many Raphael Warnocks and not enough Herschel Walkers, which is why we’re going to make some last-minute changes with some Democrats who are exciting!” he exclaimed. 

Biden advised changing Rep. Adam Schiff with former presidential candidate and religious chief Marianne Williamson. 

Williamson stated as a “level-four enchantress” she’s “ready to fight for the American dream” as she hit a Tibetan singing bowl. 

Biden known as her “America’s next ‘defense against the dark arts teacher,’ folks.” 

He additionally advised “‘Mayor of Flavortown’ Guy Fieri” (Molly Kearney) to exchange Democratic candidate John Fetterman in opposition to Dr. Mehmet Oz. 

“America is hungry for change,” Kearney stated because the fiery, bleach blond Meals Community star. “But do y’all want Dr. Oz’s crudité or a full plate of paid family leave dripping in donkey sauce? Whew!”  

PHILADELPHIA, PA - NOVEMBER 05: President Joe Biden (L) and former U.S. President Barack Obama (R) rally for Pennsylvania Democratic Senate nominee John Fetterman and Democratic gubernatorial nominee Josh Shapiro at the Liacouras Center on November 5, 2022 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Fetterman will face Republican nominee Dr. Mehmet Oz as Shapiro faces Republican Doug Mastriano on November 8 in the midterm general election. (Photo by Mark Makela/Getty Images)

PHILADELPHIA, PA – NOVEMBER 05: President Joe Biden (L) and former U.S. President Barack Obama (R) rally for Pennsylvania Democratic Senate nominee John Fetterman and Democratic gubernatorial nominee Josh Shapiro on the Liacouras Middle on November 5, 2022 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Fetterman will face Republican nominee Dr. Mehmet Ozas Shapiro faces Republican Doug Mastriano on November 8 within the midterm common election. (Picture by Mark Makela/Getty Pictures)
(Picture by Mark Makela/Getty Pictures)

BIDEN PREDICTS DEMOCRATS WILL TAKE SENATE, HAVE CHANCE TO KEEP THE HOUSE IN MIDTERMS 

Dismukes’ Biden additionally launched rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine (Marcello Hernández) as “your next senator from Ohio.” 

“I want no cap on social security, no cap!” the distinctive rapper stated forcefully whereas waving his arms round. “Democrats, baby!”

Biden known as him a “terrifying young man” after the rapper left the stage earlier than introducing former grownup movie star Stormy Daniels (Cecily Robust) because the “next governor of Michigan.” 
 

Chef and television personality Guy Fieri and his son Ryder Fieri (L) attend a game between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Las Vegas Raiders at Allegiant Stadium on October 24, 2021 in Las Vegas, Nevada. The Raiders defeated the Eagles 33-22.

Chef and tv character Man Fieri and his son Ryder Fieri (L) attend a recreation between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Las Vegas Raiders at Allegiant Stadium on October 24, 2021 in Las Vegas, Nevada. The Raiders defeated the Eagles 33-22.
(Ethan Miller/Getty Pictures)

“Hi, TV,” Robust as Daniels slurred barely. “I may be a former adult star currently on season seven of the ‘Surreal Life’ but I am willing to debase myself and enter U.S. politics.” 

He stated rapper Azalea Banks (Ego Nwodim) would beat Florida Sen. Marco Rubio “because she’s not afraid to fight.”

“I’m a witch, b—h!” she shouted, holding her arms up like claws whereas Biden regarded on scared as she walked off.

MIAMI, FLORIDA - DECEMBER 17: Rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine performs during the MiamiBash 2021 at FTX Arena on December 17, 2021 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by John Parra/Getty Images,)

MIAMI, FLORIDA – DECEMBER 17: Rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine performs through the MiamiBash 2021 at FTX Enviornment on December 17, 2021 in Miami, Florida. (Picture by John Parra/Getty Pictures,)

Lastly, he launched actor Tracy Morgan (Kenan Thompson) as the brand new particular person in control of the coed mortgage handout after saying folks “got mad” at him over the coverage. 

Within the “SNL” alum’s laid-back model, Thompson stated if “y’all want that money” folks must “come over here and rub my belly.” 

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Bringing again the motley crew, who all answered Biden’s “What do we want?” query (Morgan wished sugar-free White Citadel) and the “When do we want it?” questions otherwise (Williamson advised a parallel timeline), the president determined half-heartedly, “We’re going to be fine.” 

Comic Amy Schumer guest-hosted the present and Steve Lacy was the musical visitor. 

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